


Change

by taedreamer



Series: Exo Rare Pairs [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Activism, Angst, Chanyeol is whipped, Dialogue Heavy, Fluff and Angst, Hospitals, Idiots in Love, M/M, Marriage Proposal, jongdae's a social justice warrior who gets his ass beat sometimes, yixing is kinda just along for the ride
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-15 02:01:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11796111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taedreamer/pseuds/taedreamer
Summary: Some things just won't change.





	Change

**Author's Note:**

> whipped this out in 10 seconds bc social justice warrior jongdae has me SHOOK
> 
> chenyeol is my guilty pleasure and exo has just had me so shook recently sooooo
> 
> i did hardcore steal the idea from something else i remember reading a long ass time ago but i don't even remember what fandom it was so if anyone thinks they know it feel free to tell me and i'll give credit for the idea !!

“He’s a fucking dumbass. He's gonna get himself killed.” Chanyeol sighs as he leans back rigidly into the monotonous linoleum chair, eyes having to continuously readjust due to the pale glow of the lights above him. Yixing glances at him from the spot on his right, unable to keep his knees still. He wants to say something funny and lighthearted, make a joke about it but he knows it won't sound right so instead the two of them sit in an unusual awkward silence. Yixing thinks he's going to have to be the one to break it for a moment, until Chanyeol once again quietly mumbles from beside him, "I should have been there to protect him."

“Chanyeol, it’s not your fault. We've been through this way too many times."

Chanyeol looks at Yixing with conflicted eyes, the the purple beneath them blatantly obvious beneath the white lights. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days and is running solely off of will power. Yixing knows that Jongdae is hard to handle but Chanyeol seems to be much worse off than the last time he really sat down with him. The older sighs and tries to find something to say, something comforting and honest.

“Jongdae likes to be the hero. He knows he's not going to win before the fight even starts. He just likes to think he can.”

Chanyeol closes his eyes and throws his head back, the noise it makes when it hits the wall being drowned out as a nurse rushes past in clunky shoes. She seems busy and her face is shadowed with fatigue from a strenuous night shift. Yixing hopes she is allowed to go home soon.  
   
“It's got to be hard. Being with him, I mean.” Yixing thinks aloud as the nurse fades from view down another corridor. He also leans his head against the pristine white wall behind them, although much softer than his friend previously had. Chanyeol keeps his eyes shut and thinks silently for a moment before allotting Yixing a response.

“It can be. It just depends on him really; who he feels like he needs to save next.”

Yixing knows he doesn’t mean to sound sad but he does. Yixing remembers what it was like when he was the one solely looking after Jongdae. They had been thrown together by fate when Yixing moved from China and into the apartment across the hall when they were only kids. They grew up together and when Jongdae's parents didn't want to handle him anymore, Yixing swore he would. After that he was nearly always somber; always worried that Jongdae was hurt or rotting in a holding cell because he couldn't fucking hold his tongue. He remembers soliciting charges and calls from the hospital at four in the morning because Yixing was the only emergency contact he had. And fuck, Yixing remembers being so tired of saving Jongdae's ass. He sometimes wonders how he managed to put up with him before Chanyeol popped into their lives, but chooses instead not to think about it. 

Startled from his thoughts by a baby crying somewhere down a distant hallway, Yixing looks at Chanyeol. He hasn't moved much so Yixing asks another prying question and tells himself he won't mind if he doesn't get an answer. He still hopes he will.  
   
“I've known him since I was eleven and sometimes even I feel like I have to just let him go. I know that's just me being pissed off," Yixing sighs this to himself mostly but Chanyeol chuckles lightly all the same. Yixing thinks it sounds a little fond. "But seriously, how do you deal with him? How are you still so in love with him?"

That brings the faintest trace of a smile to Chanyeol's face and Yixing’s glad. He hasn't the slightest idea what was funny or cute or even sentimental about his last question but he's learned to take what he can get.

“He’s just always been like that. It's kind of crazy, but I remember just looking at him and wanting to know everything about him; the good and the bad. I wanted to fall in love with him,” Chanyeol tells him this as his smile grows until it's the same one he has when he looks at Jongdae. “Did Dae ever tell you what he said to me when we first met?”

Yixing mumbles out a no and watches Chanyeol's eyes widen slightly as if he was expecting a different answer. It looks like there are stars in them and the older wonders if Jongdae hand picked the prettiest ones for him.

Chanyeol seems a little excited to tell the story and leans his forearms forward onto his knees so he can concentrate. Yixing is thankful for the shift. Sorrow and exhaustion make the younger's face twist up in an unpleasant way. Yixing thinks this suits him much better. 

“He was walking around downtown, doing whatever it is activists do, you know? He stopped me to talk about some movement or cause or whatever. I can't even remember what it was for. That wasn't really what caught my eye at the time. I mean, you've seen Jongdae, right?" Yixing smiles at Chanyeol's words and notes a particular hint of amazement in the tall man's voice. He is incredibly glad that Jongdae had managed to find him.

"Anyways, I was really fucking late for work and the moment I tried to excuse myself he blew up on me about how I couldn't just ignore people that needed my help. He told me I was "no better than the oppressors". I didn't even know what he was talking about.” He finishes with a similar fondness as before and Yixing just rolls his eyes because of course the first time Chanyeol and Jongdae met the latter had to go and yell at him. Offhandedly, Yixing thinks of how lucky they are that Chanyeol didn't get scared away.

“He made me realize that I'd never really thought about anyone besides myself before. I got my ass handed to me at work but it was worth it. There was just something so captivating about him, hyung. He demanded people to listen to him.”

“Yeah, he definitely still does that last part.” Yixing says with a bit of exasperation as he clinks the heels of his shoes. They make an out of place sort of noise that nobody chooses to comment on. 

Chanyeol suddenly laughs through his nose like he's thought of something he hadn't in a long time and Yixing breaks his daze to question him. "What's so funny?"

Chanyeol doesn't look up from the floor. He's been staring at it for most of the conversation and Yixing thinks it must be getting a little boring.

"I remember asking for his number and being shot down so fast I was dizzy. I remember passing him everyday on my way to work and begging him to let me buy him a cup of coffee. It took him at least a damn month to say yes and then he still refused to let me pay for him." Chanyeol laughs out loud this time but Yixing doesn't want to join. He knows Chanyeol is just laughing to hide the fact that he is nostalgic and probably a little sad.

"He's so stubborn, hyung. So determined and annoying and persistent. Even from the start he was like that. There's always been a lot of ways to describe Jongdae, but lately all I can think of are the bad ones." He admits. Yixing knows he doesn't mean it like that. He knows how much Chanyeol loves his boyfriend. But he also understands where the younger is coming from.  
   
Chanyeol is still hunched over into himself, gangly limbs folding uncomfortably. Yixing feels out of place so he remains deathly still, eyes fixated on nothing. He folds his hands in his lap to keep from fidgeting too much but knows it does little to help when his shoes tap together again. Off in the distance, Yixing can hear the same baby crying and the oldest tries desperately to focus on that rather than the tiny sniffles Chanyeol is trying to hide. It doesn't work very well but Chanyeol hates crying and the least Yixing can do is pretend he doesn't notice.  
   
“Why are you with him, then?”

Yixing’s voice erupts Chanyeol from his thoughts and he shuts his eyes tightly for a moment before opening them, a single tear still trailing down his cheek.

At the taller's questioning face, Yixing quickly tries to amend. “After all of this shit, why do you never leave him? Sure, I'm his best friend but I know he’s a pain in the ass. Sometimes I think I might leave him if I could.”

Chanyeol weighs the question very thoroughly, leaning back in his chair once again. This angle reveals the redness of his eyes and Yixing glances away to avoid staring or bringing it up. Chanyeol doesn't want comfort, not from Yixing.

It takes a few minutes before Chanyeol seems to find an adequate response. This is a surprise to the older, seeing as he thought Chanyeol would just tell him that he loves Jongdae and that would be the end of it. The answer he gets is far more complex, yet far more honest than Yixing could have ever expected.

“On good days, when he feels like he made a difference, I feel like I'm falling in love with him over amd over again. And even though bad days are fucking awful, I don't think I'd be the same without the good ones.”

Yixing nods, a little jerky, trying to process the words. The older offhandedly thinks that Chanyeol should quit his job in stock marketing to pursue a career as a songwriter. He'd be much better at that, probably happier. Yixing barely has a chance to marvel the thought before Chanyeol is speaking again.

“I honestly can't tell you how he manages on bad days, though. He's angry and wants to fight the world because it's cruel and I just can’t leave him, hyung. As much as I want to be with him on good days, he doesn't deserve to be alone on bad ones.”

Yixing doesn’t interrupt Chanyeol's flow because it’s nice to hear his friend ramble tiredly through the silence, through the night. It's especially nice to hear something reassuring while Jongdae is off alone somewhere in a hospital.

A man in a suit rushes through a door a ways to their right. He's carrying a briefcase and he looks a little out of breath, as if he suddenly had to drop everything and run here. Yixing unfortunately realizes that he probably had. The man looks at them both for half a second before scanning the waiting room and deciding to quickly make his way down the opposite hall. The two boys watch him go as he disappears and only look away when they can no longer hear his heavy steps. Yixing doesn't miss the way Chanyeol's mood dampens immediately. Rather than commenting, Yixing looks at how long the younger's hair has gotten. He thinks Chanyeol should find some time to get it cut. Yixing knows he'll forget and Jongdae will have to sit him down and cut it for him.

"I want to propose to him."

The words don't sound real at first and Yixing doesn't register how important they are until Chanyeol is looking at him for a response. The older can imagine he's nervous. This is the closest thing he will have to asking for blessing, since Jongdae's actual family wrote him off long before Chanyeol even met him. Yixing is pretty much all he's got.

He doesn't mean to take so long while he's processing the statement. He just can't find the words he wants to use to respond. He thinks it's important that he choose wisely here and Yixing knows he's under qualified. He tries anyways.  
   
“You make him a better person, Chanyeol. I know you both love each other more than anything. But you have to understand; nobody will ever keep him from doing this. Not you, not me, not anybody. Trying to change the world is exactly what keeps him going, keeps him waking up every morning. Marriage won't stop him from fighting for what he believes in.”

Chanyeol turns away from Yixing again and smiles, but it’s not a very pretty one. They both know neither of them can stop Jongdae, and marriage would only slow him down at most. They can only shovel some of the load he's carrying onto their own shoulders and march along until the end of the line.  
   
“I don't want to change him. I want to keep him safe and happy and if we have to go through all of this shit to get there then so be it. I just want to love him for who he is.” The younger boy mumbles the last sentence and for a second Yixing thinks he made it up. But a quick look at Chanyeol's face tells him he didn't.

“I know that, Yeol.” It’s Yixing’s turn to sigh. This one is a little happier though. He hopes Chanyeol knows that. “That's why you should do it.”

The younger turns quickly toward Yixing, eyes wide in shock and what the older thinks is happiness. Belatedly, Yixing wonders if Chanyeol was expecting him to say it was a bad idea. He pushes the thought out of his head when the tall man's face splits into a giant grin. For a second, Yixing forgets that Chanyeol is twenty-four and sitting in a hospital waiting room at four in the morning. He forgets that Jongdae is hurt and that the hospital bill is going to eat up some of this months rent and that he'll likely be late to work tomorrow, if he goes at all. Instead he thinks of a gangly twenty year old who somehow stole Jongdae's heart amidst the noise of a bustling city. He thinks of coffee on Sundays and getting wasted on weeknights and splitting headaches with fun stories to match. He thinks of his best friend getting married and starting a life with the amazing idiot sitting in front of him; that's enough of a reason to forget for just a minute.  
   
At some point through the conversation, probably an hour later, Yixing leaves to go to the restroom and see if the cafeteria is opening for breakfast yet. The older is only gone for a few minutes when Chanyeol hears a pair of shoes clicking down a hall and towards him. A nurse emerges and makes her way towards Chanyeol, her steps sounding far too loud to him. 

“Are you waiting to see Kim Jongdae?” She seems careful as she asks and Chanyeol knows he must look a mess. She's polite anyways, looking a little tired and a little flushed, as if she's already worked a full shift. Chanyeol just nods sluggishly and stands to meet her. He's probably a foot taller than her but his anxiety makes him appear small, almost scared of what she's going to say. The woman gives him an open smile, reminding him of his sister, and it calms his heart rate, if only just a little.

“His doctor will be out in a few minutes to talk to you and then somebody will take you to Mr. Kim’s room right away. I apologize for the wait but you'll be glad to know he's resting comfortably.” When she's finished Chanyeol nods as a thank you before she's off to work once again. Once she leaves he sits back down and prepares to wait, hoping Yixing hurries back so he won't feel so nervous by himself. Chanyeol wonders how he could possibly be this nervous since he's seen Jongdae in the hospital a few too many times already. He doesn't really want to think about it anymore after that.  
   
The doctor shows up for a moment to explain a few things that Chanyeol can barely comprehend in his exhausted state. He does hear that Jongdae has a sprained wrist and a few torn ligaments in his knee, as well as some deep cuts and obvious bruising. He will be okay in a couple days though and almost fully functioning in a few short weeks. Chanyeol is glad that his boyfriend's injuries are so minor this time. He knows that they could've been worse.

Just as the doctor is finishing up his speech and Chanyeol is getting too bored to listen to much more, Yixing's light steps bring him through one of the halls and into the waiting room. He's holding a tray of food but as he looks up to find Chanyeol, he notices the doctor and rushes over. He sets the tray in one of the many seats and quickly turns to the man in front of them, eyes holding some of the same curiosity and fear that Chanyeol's had only a few moments ago. Yixing liked to hide it; pretend he stopped being so worried about Jongdae's wellbeing years ago. Chanyeol knows better. So does Yixing.

"Is he okay? Can we see him?"

The doctor's eyes widen a little at how loud Yixing is, his voice disturbing the eerie silence that once was the hospital's waiting room. Yixing himself doesn't seem to care and the man in front of them shrugs it off before telling him the same thing he had previously told Chanyeol. When he's finished, the two boys are visibly more relaxed, as well as extremely aware of their now very apparent exhaustion. The doctor leaves with the promise of a nurse coming by within the hour to take them to Jongdae. It's half past five in the morning.

When a nurse does finally retrieve the two, their sprawled over the chairs with Chanyeol's head on Yixing's shoulder. Neither are asleep, but Yixing thinks it wouldn't have taken much longer. The nurse, like the other, apologizes for the wait and smiles a bit wider. Chanyeol thinks she looks less tired and hopes she had replaced the woman from earlier.

She guides them a good ways down one of the corridors before opening a door with Jongdae's name written on the clipboard hanging from it. The room is dark but small bits of sun are finally making their way over the horizon and through the large window on the opposite wall. Chanyeol enters the room first and spots Jongdae sitting in the bed with his eyes lidded but still open, staring out at the slowly rising sun.

Chanyeol watches for a moment when he realizes that Jongdae hasn't noticed him yet. He thinks that Jongdae must be extremely tired as well. Yixing comes up behind him and gives him a little push. Chanyeol doesn't turn to face the older, instead stepping forward and clearing his throat a little. Jongdae startles but the movement is a second behind were it would usually be and Chanyeol knows that his lover is on pain medication. It's a miracle he's awake at all.

"Fuck you. Don't scare me." Jongdae doesn't mean it in a serious tone and Chanyeol can tell that he's choosing humor rather than actually facing the situation. The taller man isn't having it.  
   
“Don’t scare you? Really, Dae? I've been sitting in the hospital for hours wondering if you're okay.” His words are sad rather than angry and Jongdae smiles with watery eyes before casting them down.

“I’m sorry. But I had to do something, Channie. This asshole wouldn't leave this girl alone and she looked scared. Really, I-"

"It's okay. I get it."

Chanyeol isn't smiling but he doesn't seem disappointed or upset with Jongdae when he dares a glance. Instead the taller just takes a few steps over to the bed before worming his way onto it and getting comfortable. Jongdae scoots over to give him room and the two manage to fit. It's a little tight, as it always is, but neither cares much. Chanyeol lifts a hand to wipe away the few tears that had managed to fall down Jongdae's pale and bruised cheeks. He ignores the ugly gash on his right one and hopes it doesn't scar. Chanyeol knows Jongdae will always look at it and be sad. He doesn't want that.

At that moment, Yixing clears his throat as well but doesn't look near as upset as Chanyeol had a few seconds ago. Instead he seems amused by the exchange. Jongdae doesn't blame him.

"You two are cute but do I not even get a hello? I've been here for hours too."  
   
Jongdae laughs and it rattles around in his chest like broken glass, his eyes watering even more until he is outright crying. The small boy smiles then and Yixing's blank face breaks out into a fond grin, something only reserved for Jongdae.  
   
“Sorry, hyung. Fuck, thank you. But you didn't need to stay. You both have work today." Yixing sighs at Jongdae's rambling before stepping closer and taking a seat in the chair by the bed. Chanyeol just closes his eyes and wiggles deeper into Jongdae's side.

"Shut up. We've been through this before. Besides, there's no use in worrying about it. I'll already be late even if I leave right now." Yixing looks at Jongdae like he is daring him to argue, but the younger knows it's pointless. He doesn't feel any better after hearing what Yixing had to say though and instead of concentrating on it he looks down at the scratchy blanket covering his torso.

The mood is extremely somber and Chanyeol didn't want it to be like this. He wanted to see his love smiling, as if this was only a minor inconvenience in his day. He knew it was far fetched, but maybe it wasn't. Jongdae had a habit of surprising him. Either way, Chanyeol decided to change the conversation as best he could and lighten up the tension between the friends. They would have to talk about it later but now just wasn't the time.

“At least tell me you got a few good hits in, Dae." At that Jongdae lifts his chin so his eyes meet the warm ones in front of him. He smiles, although it wobbles for a moment before consuming his entire face. Chanyeol takes it as a thank you.

"Fuck yeah I did. I split my knuckles on the piece of shit's teeth." At that Chanyeol chuckles and he thinks he even hears Yixing snort from where he's pouting a few feet away. Jongdae hears it too, if the flicker of hopefulness in his eyes is anything to go by. Yixing sighs and although Chanyeol is still locked on Jongdae, he can tell that the older is looking conflicted over what to say next. Of course he wants to be mad at Jongdae, disappointed that he got himself into trouble again, but it's difficult. Yixing knows best that there isn't much he can do about it. All he really can do is love the younger while he's sitting right in front of him. At least, that's what he tells Chanyeol every time they have this conversation. Yixing finds it hard to take his own advice.

In the end he gives in, letting a reluctant smile onto his lips before muttering, "As long as he looks a hell of a lot worse than you do." Jongdae takes the words as forgiveness.

Moments pass without anyone moving much. The time ticks on into what Jongdae can only guess to be about half an hour and by then the sun is rising a little bit more steadily, illuminating the room bit by bit. The food that Yixing had brought with him from the cafeteria has long gone cold and even as Chanyeol's stomach growls, he refuses to acknowledge it's even sitting on the counter just a few feet away. Instead he just leaves it as it is and hopes Jongdae isn't bothered by the ridiculous rumbling.

By the time the entire room is shrouded in a yellow glow, Yixing's eyes have fallen shut and his breathing has evened out. Chanyeol notices that Jongdae is fighting off the medication, trying desperately to keep his eyes open. The tall man thinks it's extremely cute and cuddles all that much closer to his lover before whispering to him drowsily. "Go to sleep, baby. I'll be here when you wake up. You're safe."

Chanyeol doesn't know why those are the words he chooses but he doesn't regret them. Jongdae smiles a little dreamily before letting his eyelashes float shut. Chanyeol realizes it was a good choice.

The morning begins to drift on slowly and eventually Chanyeol himself succumbs to the temptation of sleep, letting his head fall softly next to Jongdae's. A nurse comes in a few hours later and decides to allow the three boys a little rest, only staying as long as necessary to check the injured boy's vitals.

Midday slowly makes it's way around and although the sun is high in the sky, time seems to stand still for them. When Yixing finally opens his eyes, it's to the sight of his best friends huddled together and soaked in sunlight. The image is as beautiful as any, and Yixing almost doesn't realize that they're still in a hospital.

The man doesn't make any effort to move, instead just enjoying the knowledge that two of his favorite people in the entire world are sitting right in front of him, happy. Yixing knows this won't be the last time they're all in a hospital room together like this, and the thought is less than comforting. But also knowing that by then Yixing might have the pleasure of getting to see Jongdae and Chanyeol get married, getting to stand at his friends side on the best day of his life, makes it almost bearable.

Jongdae will always be free spirited, rebellious and angry at the world for his own reasons. Chanyeol will always be calm in nature and more scared for his boyfriend's safety than his own. Some things just won't change.

But when Yixing has a second to stop and stare, to watch even the bad moments turn into good ones, he knows he doesn't want it to. None of them do.

They wouldn't change it for the world.

**Author's Note:**

> leave kudos + comments my doods love you all


End file.
